What is more important?

One of the most common desires I hear from parents when discussing what goals they have for their language delayed child to reach first is that they want their child to use their manners, to say "please" and "thank you".  

While the development of manners is a wonderful skill to teach your children, I have to ask, What is more important: That your child say "please" to request more, or request that a snack be opened, or that they can say, for example, "more milk" or "help open"?

What can you do as a parent to help your child continue to develop language AND use manners?  Well, it is really quite simple.  The actual ability to use language for a variety of purposes on a developmental continuum of language comes way before the use and understanding of "politeness" or the ability to understand the nuances of language.  As the saying goes, children learn what they live.  Your child hearing you and your spouse use manner words, is already providing them with a strong foundation to help them develop these manner words to use at an appropriate age.

It breaks my Speech Pathology heart more than anything to see a language delayed child request, "open" while handing a snack to their parent, but not getting it because the parent demanded the child say "please".