"NO!"
The one word that can engage most parents in a power struggle with their child. You've simply asked them to complete a task that needs to be done; Can you go brush your teeth? Or Can you go make your bed? However, your beautiful child has let you know they have no intention on completing the task you just asked them to do.
This may be one of the most frustrating situations you face as a parent. You are only attempting to instill good manners by asking your child to complete a simple task, but yet you are met with determination and strong will, and you are left feeling disrespected, and in some cases when a power struggle ensues you may be left feeling defeated.
How to avoid your child telling you "NO"?
During situations when you want your child to simply do as you told them to, or to complete a task, or during times that a negative response is not acceptable- instead of asking them, Can you...(do something) use the statement You can...(do something). For example: Instead of "Can you put your cup in the sink?" tell them, "When you are done with your drink, you can put your cup in the sink." Or simply, "You can put your cup in the sink, now that you are done."
It is important to keep your statements clear, precise, and do not engage your child in negotiations. Follow up with positive praise and acknowledgment that they did as you asked and you appreciate it. Using You can statements instead of Can you questions helps clarify the expectations for your child, which will lead to a more positive interaction between the two of you.
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