What is more important?

One of the most common desires I hear from parents when discussing what goals they have for their language delayed child to reach first is that they want their child to use their manners, to say "please" and "thank you".  

While the development of manners is a wonderful skill to teach your children, I have to ask, What is more important: That your child say "please" to request more, or request that a snack be opened, or that they can say, for example, "more milk" or "help open"?

What can you do as a parent to help your child continue to develop language AND use manners?  Well, it is really quite simple.  The actual ability to use language for a variety of purposes on a developmental continuum of language comes way before the use and understanding of "politeness" or the ability to understand the nuances of language.  As the saying goes, children learn what they live.  Your child hearing you and your spouse use manner words, is already providing them with a strong foundation to help them develop these manner words to use at an appropriate age.

It breaks my Speech Pathology heart more than anything to see a language delayed child request, "open" while handing a snack to their parent, but not getting it because the parent demanded the child say "please".

Recommended Autism Consultant

As a professional I feel it my duty to provide my clients and parents of children with special needs, with information regarding other professionals.  I am passionate about empowering families to make informed decisions about the healthcare of their child. I know I can’t do it all, and so I have and continue to build a trusted network of skilled professionals who can help.  

It is my distinct pleasure to introduce Brenna Noland.  I have worked with Brenna for the past 17 months, and in this time I have noted and observed her amazing abilities to work with families and their children with Autism Spectrum Disorders.  Not only do I respect and trust her work; I look forward to collaborating with her because every time I do, I learn!

Brenna Noland: 3B's Therapy

During the school year, Brenna works full-time as an Early Childhood Special Education (ECSE) teacher and autism specialist for a local school district. The majority of her current caseload is children who have been identified as having an autism spectrum disorder (or who are displaying red flags for ASD) between the ages of 18 months and 5 years old. She has over 6 years of experience working with children with special needs and their families.

She received her ECSE degree from the University of Wisconsin Eau Claire in 2005 and her Master’s of Arts in Autism Spectrum Disorders from the University of St. Thomas in February of 2011.  All of the graduate credits that she received outside of the ASD program came from her coursework in the Emotional or Behavioral Disorders program.  While she specializes in working with children with ASD and those with behavior challenges, she also enjoys working with children with overall developmental delays.

She has received training in various methodologies; however, she believes in using a variety of evidence-based strategies based on each child’s interests, strengths and needs rather than sticking to the strategies that compose one single methodology.  The variety of strategies that she has learned over the years enables her to provide effective instruction geared towards increasing skills in young children across each developmental domain within daily routines.

For families looking for help and assistance, or collaboration regarding their child with Autism Spectrum Disorders, please visit Breanna's website at http://3bstherapy.com.

Respectfully,

The Candid Therapist

Is there a difference between School and Private Therapists?

The answer is "no" there is not a difference in the type of training or qualifications that a Speech Language Pathologist has to have to work in a private clinic or within the schools.  The answer is also "yes" there is a difference in when we can or cannot provide services.

So, what is it really then?

Within the education setting the Department of Education sets guidelines for criteria.  In order for your child to receive Special Education services in the area of Speech Pathology they need to meet the criteria for disability in one or more of the following areas: articulation, language, voice, and/or fluency.  The rules for a Speech/Language Impairment can be found here:  https://www.revisor.mn.gov/rules/?id=3525.1343

Within the clinic setting the criteria is set by your individual insurance company.  Some insurances exclude things such as stuttering, others many exclude any habilitative services for children with developmental delays.  While yet other insurance companies will cover services up a set number of visits.  And yet others determine qualification for services based on the child's percentile rank within a given area. It is highly and solely dependent on your insurance and which policy you have from that insurance.

If your child qualifies for services from the school district all goals must be educationally appropriate.  This excludes: feeding therapies, alternative therapies such as The Listening Program and other such holistic approaches.  If a therapy method cannot be directly related to and/or pertinent to a child reaching educational expectations it cannot be used within therapy sessions in the school setting.

If your child qualified for services from a private clinic the therapist may or may not have more flexibility in the amount and/or type of therapies that can be provided.  Certainly a private therapist is able to address feeding difficulties, auditory processing difficulties, and all other speech and language delays.

Things to keep in mind as a parent:
1) If your child doesn't qualify for speech and language services in the school; they may qualify through a private clinic.
2) It is OK to have both a school Speech Pathologist and a private Speech Pathologist-Word to the wise: your child will receive the best care when you sign releases for the school and private therapist to collaborate.
3) You are your child's best advocate- Be open and honest about what your concerns for your child are.

Community Based Social Skills Group

Is excited and pleased to announce...
What: A Community Based Social Skills Group
For Who: Children with high functioning ASD or other impairments with social skills difficulties. Two groups: 4-5 year olds and 6-9 year olds.
When: Younger group: Tuesday from 3-5:30 and Older group: Thursday from 4-6:30. June 14 through August 3, 2011.
Run by: A Speech Language Pathologist and an Occupational Therapist

For those with interest or know of those who would be interested in more information please contact me at info@thecandidtherapist.com.

Auntie's Purse-The one kids are allowed to dig in

There are always times that we need children to engage themselves in quiet activities while we complete a task or attend to other matters.  What is the one thing that all kids want to dig in?  Yes, their mom's, aunt's, grandma's, or any other woman's purse!  I'm not quite sure what it is about the mystery of a purse, but kids are automatically drawn to them. 

The idea of "Auntie's Purse" came over a period of time when I would sit with my sister's and their families in church.  Of course as an adoring aunt I loved and enjoyed the fact that I could share this important time with my family.  During many services, as the attention span of my nieces and nephews wore out they would climb onto my lap and either ask what was in my purse or if they didn't have words yet point to my purse with urgency, wanting to sort and sift through the contents of my purse.  Now of course as a typical woman, I didn't want the contents of my purse spread out along the church bench or any other place.  I would often put gum or pencils and paper in a side pocket that they were allowed to dig in.  Many times after the service ended my sisters would comment, "They love 'Auntie's Purse'!" hence the name.  I found that having a quiet activity for them allowed us as adults to still attend to the service and give them something quiet and minimally disruptive to do.

One Sunday as I was preparing to leave for church I found myself packing fruit snacks, quiet cars, cardboard books, pencils, a paper tablet, twistable crayons, a small sized coloring book, stickers, and a few other miscellaneous items.... YES... into my purse!  My purse didn't shut.  It dawned on me at that time that I needed an addition purse.  One that the kids were allowed to dig in.  So this is exactly what I did.  'Auntie's Purse' has come in handy in many other situations as well; in restaurants while waiting for an order, sitting in a waiting room, at church, and in the car.

"Auntie's Purse" is easy to make.  Simply find an unused purse (or bag for those men who don't want to carry a purse) and fill it with quiet activities.  It's also a great gift idea for anyone who has children and has situations or times that they need to wait.  Name it whatever you like, "The Wait Bag", "Auntie's Purse", "The Quiet Bag" and so forth.  Keep the bag interesting; cycle out books and activities for the kids, so that when "Auntie's Purse" comes out, their curiosity and interest is high hopefully keeping them quietly engaged. 

Have fun and remember you are the expert on your child so you know just what to put in the bag.

Always,
Rachael- The Candid Therapist
p.s. You won't have to worry about your purse's contents being exposed to the world again.

Humbled

Two weekends ago I was blessed with the opportunity to care for my niece and nephew while their parents were in Hawaii.  I LOVE these kids with my whole heart.  On Saturday afternoon we took a little trip to Target to purchase Valentines for their parents and to get snacks for our visitors in the evening.  This is how the trip went...

I get the kids out of my vehicle when my 2 year old nephew decides he'll walk in on his own.  So I promptly stop him and say in all my wisdom, "You need to hold my hand or Auntie will carry you in."  To which I received this response, "No hand no hand" and he darted off in the parking lot.  So I run after him wearing 2.5 inch heels (because I'm not a mother I saw no reason not to wear them as I left the house).  As I run to grab him I start thinking to myself WHAT WAS I THINKING?  High heeled boots!  

So I scoop him up into my arms and hold on tight.  He is flopping in my arms like a fish out of water.  As I continue to walk with my nephew wiggling in my arms and my 5 year old niece by my side she states as we get into the crosswalk (Yes, we are still outside of Target at this time) "Auntie, We're going to play follow the leader and I am the leader."  To which I say, "Not now sweetie."  With a definitive voice she states, "We are playing follow the leader" and she stepped in front of me and stopped!  The only thing that can happen in this situation did happen... I tripped over her dancing like a flamingo stepping on hot coals trying to avoid stepping on her, and really trying not to drop my nephew.  She falls and yells, "Geez!  Did you haffta do that!"  In my frustration as I gained my footing in these ridiculous heels, I tell her "stand up were going in."

We make it into the store and I grab a cart to put my nephew in.  He refuses to sit, I calmly tell him to sit on his pockets and helped my niece into the back of the cart.  As I turn around there is a couple who had seen the entire scene out in the parking lot... Do they sympathize with me?  NO.  I received the worst horrific look of disgust from them!  At this point I was livid with them.  They had not heard what went on in our little discussion.  All they had seen was me, tripping over my niece and not even stopping to ask her if she was ok.  I realized at this point... being a parent has got to be the most humbling experience.  I felt so little.  I love these two kids SO much that it makes my heart hurt at times.

Following our trip to Target I spent some time discussing (at her age level) the situation with my niece.  I let her know that Auntie loves her and her brother so much that sometimes it hurts.  

I have always tried to be non-judgmental about parents parenting their children in public; however, this situation humbled me even more.  My respect level for my sisters with children and the parents of the children I work with has increased immensely.

If you are a parent I'm sure you've experienced situations such as this, my question to you is how do you want others to respond to these situations they oversee?

-Humbled

Ok. Ok? Ok...

As adults we use the word “ok” for a variety of purposes including but certainly not limited to questioning, understanding, confirmation, sarcasm, agreeance, and acceptance.  As adults we are able to decipher the minute changes of vocal intonation to understand the implied definition and purpose of “ok”.  Ok, with that out of the way let’s get down to business.

As a Speech Language Pathologist I have observed parents and other adults using the word “ok” with children thousands of times.  Some examples,
"It's time to go.  Ok?"
"I need you to pick up your toys.  Ok?"
"I'm going to count to 5. Ok?"
"Can you go put on your pajamas?  Ok....?"
"Ok, I'm serious I've told you 3 times... Go pick up your toys.  Ok?"

With questions and statements that end with an "ok", that we as adults intend to be a confirmation and/or a 'yes' answer, many children see it as an open invitation for them to answer yes or no, therefore leaving the door wide open for a power struggle.

One simple way of making a potentially stressful situation less stressful is to use "You can" statements, or to simply leave off the "ok".

Here are some alternatives to the above statements:

"(Child's name) In 5 minutes it'll be time to go."
"I need you to pick up your toys."
"At the count of 5, we'll be all done"
"It's time for your PJ's"
"You can put your books away."


As a reminder... The word “ok” to most children is an open invitation for them to answer “yes” or “no”.