As adults we use the word “ok” for a variety of purposes including but certainly not limited to questioning, understanding, confirmation, sarcasm, agreeance, and acceptance. As adults we are able to decipher the minute changes of vocal intonation to understand the implied definition and purpose of “ok”. Ok, with that out of the way let’s get down to business.
As a Speech Language Pathologist I have observed parents and other adults using the word “ok” with children thousands of times. Some examples,
"It's time to go. Ok?"
"I need you to pick up your toys. Ok?"
"I'm going to count to 5. Ok?"
"Can you go put on your pajamas? Ok....?"
"Ok, I'm serious I've told you 3 times... Go pick up your toys. Ok?"
With questions and statements that end with an "ok", that we as adults intend to be a confirmation and/or a 'yes' answer, many children see it as an open invitation for them to answer yes or no, therefore leaving the door wide open for a power struggle.
One simple way of making a potentially stressful situation less stressful is to use "You can" statements, or to simply leave off the "ok".
Here are some alternatives to the above statements:
"(Child's name) In 5 minutes it'll be time to go."
"I need you to pick up your toys."
"At the count of 5, we'll be all done"
"It's time for your PJ's"
"You can put your books away."
As a reminder... The word “ok” to most children is an open invitation for them to answer “yes” or “no”.
